Obstacles

What is an obstacle? By definition it is anyone or anything that blocks or alters your path. There are many kinds of obstacles as you know. However, we have to overcome them or they will continue to block our way to a recovery. I thought about what some of the biggest obstacles we face in trying to recover from this addiction are and my wife had pointed out that fear was a big one. I agree. Fear is a debilitating obstacle that can stop us right in our tracks. It can also cause some of the worst acting out habits, if we let fear get the best of us. Really the only way to overcome a fear is to address it and deal with it. For example; when choosing to get better I had a fear of not living with this disease because it is all I knew, I also had a fear of living with the disease because that is all I knew how to do. But I had to make a choice- live in fear or rejoice in freedom. So I made my way to groups, a recovery center, I had some ups and downs, a divorce, and embarked on a rather painstaking process to get a meeting started in my hometown, wherein I had too present myself to my community only to be shunned, put down and degraded. Faith in God and the courage to overcome fears worked because someone eventually said yes we need this. Now I have a program, friendship and support but I had to get out of my bubble and risk somethings. I am glad I did. Everyone has a fear or fears of something, but once you address the fear and take the risk of overcoming, it is no longer a fear but simply something you have done before. Easier said than done you maybe saying? You are absolutely right, it easier to say and a heck of a lot harder do. No sugar coating on that because sometimes it can really stink. Your alternative is to live in fear and not experience what life may have in store for you as you open up a new door. It is your choice however. I myself choose to overcome and live.

Complacency, like fear, is a self induced obstacle. Yes we sex addicts tend to shoot ourselves in the foot with this one. My experience with complacency is relapse, anger and a plethera of other psychological terms. Beware of the idle recovery. It is easy, extremely easy, to think we are doing better so we can let some things go, or we start skip meetings or forget to read the devotional (I am guilty of all these things). We become complacent and then something happens and we react with acting out, selfish anger, or utter confusion as to why in the heck whatever it is just occurred. Then we are knocked off our feet because we didn't remain proactive in our recovery. Which leaves us faced with an obstacle that we must overcome because we can't ignore it. An example of this from my life is I became complacent with my recovery and slowly but surely anger started to build, my masturbation increased, which made me depressed, which made me angry again, which caused displaced resentment to make myself feel better, which in turn was followed by lack of communication, all because my ego told me I was strong enough and I was getting better. When actually what was happening was, I was forgetting how to live right and did what was comfortable to me. Which left no re-routing when obstacles came my way, instead I smacked right in to them and knocked myself out. Do not think, and take it from a guy who has been there and still struggles with complacency, that you don't need to do certain things in your recovery. Because recovery is a set of tools that you collect and work with. Complacency tells you that you can leave the tools for today you don't need them and before you know it you need a tool and you are nowhere near your toolbox. That is how we shoot ourselves in the foot. This a common obstacle in recovery. You have been warned do with it what you want. My hope and prayer is that my mistakes can help someone not make the same. So I truly wish you keep this obstacle in the front of your mind so as to not repeat my patterns or some of your old destructive ones.

These are just two of some of the major obstacles we face in recovery. We all know there are tons more out there. I have developed ways to deal with obstacles in my life and a big one is prayer. Reason being is simple; faith fades fear, and commitment combats complacency. My commitment is getting stronger, as well as my faith. Therefore, I am enjoying a higher quality of life and I get blessed with some days that are just plain peaceful. My turbulent days stay turbulent if I don't turn to prayer. But on the other hand my turbulent times are settled with a commitment to settle it with prayer and a faith that God will provide it to me if I ask. Which He does. Satan wants us to keep us down and God wants to raise us up. Prayer is valuable, useful and absolutely neccessary. I have tried being my own God and I haven't done near as good as God has settling my mind. He is waiting for us. Go search Him out and let Him take you by the hand through and around obstacles.

In looking at scripture for this particular subject I was blessed to be able to read about people in the Bible that dealt with some major obstacles and they over came them with faith and commitment. The book of Job, the book of Nehemiah, and the story of Caleb in the book of Numbers. All these stories just provided me with a sense of wow if that can be done or that can be overcame, then I know in my life it is possible for me to overcome as well. The main point to all these stories was God remained faithful to them, their faith and commitment got stronger. and some wonderful things were done in peoples lives including their own because of what they had to overcome. I encourage you to read these books. I could tell you about them but I think God describes it better (He usually does) and I wouldn't do any of these men justice.

In conclusion, I want to leave you with a quote from Jesus Himself about obstacles; He was talking to His disciples shortly before His arrest about who He was and the reason He was here and this is what He said to them (and us) John 17:33; "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on Earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world".

Jesus is telling us, it is going to get rough, it is going to stink but He will be there and He will help us. Essentially also I think by Him saying "Here on Earth" He is telling us, all these things are temporary and there is a reward for overcoming and staying steadfast in belief that God can help us overcome our obstacles.

My prayers are with you. Jason.