Today

The nice thing about Today is anything is possible. We are an empty canvas to be painted on every time we open our eyes. Everyday we have a brand new set of choices we can make. Brand new things we can learn and brand new prayers we can pray. I wanted to share with you a poem I wrote last year about my desire to be a better person and the willingness to let God change me, by trying to keep an open mind everyday. I didn't always succeed past lunch some days but I started out wanting to. Here is a segment from that poem:

If Jesus could paint a picture of how my life has been, what color would He use to represent my sin?
How thick or thin of brush, How short or broad of stroke would He use to show the day that I awoke?
Here I am, my day is at its' start, I am an empty canvas, Jesus make your art.

I long to be a masterpiece in my Fathers eyes, ones that can see past the addictions, pain and lies.
Eyes that can see deep inside my heart, I am an empty canvas, Jesus make your art.

Maybe you can use the black for the nails that pierced your human skin,
and the red to demonstrate the blood that washed away my sin.
Wash my pallet clean because my colors have run together, I wish to be your picture now and forever.

It may sound a little corny but that is what I feel inside even to this day. Each day offers me opportunities to live better, love better, pray better and recover better. I am taking my life back literally one day at a time. Which by the way is a recovery slogan. It means all we have is today, we just have to not act out today. Just for today we don't have to give into our urges. That makes it a lot easier than giving it up for life. We just have to give it up and give it over for one day, that's it. Then the next day we do the same and again and again. Before you know it we have a lot of days with no acting out.

They say in some 12 step groups to get used to giving it over to God daily, that you should put your shoes under your bed. That way when you have to kneel down to get them, you may as well pray while you are down there and ask God to help you today. That way you are turning your life and your will over to the care of God right from the start. If that doesn't quite work for you though there are many other opportunities to do this before you start your day. At breakfast, in the shower, over a cup of coffee in your favorite chair, your drive to work or even when you are laying there cursing the fact that is so darn early. You can pray anytime you like, God is always up and He is always there.

Today is something for God to do, give it to Him. He wants us to be free from this life starting Today. So today is a very important day. He knew how awful we would feel being a slave to an addiction whether it be sex or otherwise and He wants us to be free of that guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, lies, and every other sin that goes along with living an addictive lifestyle especially ours of sexual immorality. Despite how we feel and no matter how much we want to change we have to relent to one simple fact in order to move on. We have a sinful nature called the flesh and the flesh lives in the "world" and not the "word" and only Jesus can free us and help us combat this natural sinful nature, how do I know that? God told us so in the Bible. Which is of course, The Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. In Romans Paul writes about our sinful nature and struggling with sin.

Romans 7:21-25; I have discovered this principle of life-that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another power within me  that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to sin that is still within me. Oh what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God the answer is Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is; in my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

Jesus can set us free from that prison above our shoulders and give us a more peaceful, purposeful life. Because of my sinful nature I gave into it because it seemed natural to me. I was just over sexed or some other lie like that. The path that I was on seemed right to me because I was justified in all of it. If this or that didn't happen I wouldn't of done whatever, or if something wasn't said I wouldn't of done whatever. It was not till I was spiritually, morally and financially bankrupt that I really realized this path is non negotiable. I can not pave my own way. This path I was on was ending in a very bad spot. Proverbs 14:12; There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death. That is what I was endanger of. The spiritual death of your soul is no joking matter and not one to be taken lightly. Remember I have said I was at a point in my life where I could feel and sometimes see the evil around me. Jesus was warning me the pornography, affairs, prostitutes, strippers and whatever else was claiming me, not me it.

This is the last thing I have to say about today. Tomorrow may not have a today. What if this is your last day on this Earth? What if its mine? Once we die, it is too late to repent. It is too late to change. That is why today is so much more important than any other day. It may be our last chance at salvation. It may be our last chance to turn things over to God. Our death comes at a time we will not expect. Since I have given my life to God I have gone to bed repenting for the things I have done and fight the things my mind tells me to do. I have accepted the gift therefore I can not return even as excruciating as the draws can be some days.

I implore all who read this to learn from my mistakes, listen to the scriptures presented, and repent today because tomorrow may never come. Let God take charge of your days on this Earth and whole heartily try to do the right thing. You will fail, I have. The nice thing is today offers restarts at anytime.

Today may be the best day of your life. Today the possibilities are endless. Today you don't have to act out.

Father in Heaven, we owe you thanks when our eyes open to a new day. We pray Father that today you are in charge and you help us through the day. Help us to grow in the knowledge that you have created our hearts and our minds. We wish to honor you and our families and ourselves by having the heart and mind in agreement and action. So for today Father we give up our addictions to you to help us through the day. If so blessed for another today, tomorrow, we ask the same and everyday we have left. Father we pray this in the name of the one who offers us salvation and rest, Your Son Jesus Christ, Amen.

My prayers are with you. Jason.