.....and the greatest of these is love.

The bible says God gave us three gifts: Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest of these is Love. This is very true, love is the Greatest gift ever. Whether it be from God, your significant other, a child, your family or even the dog. We as humans beings desire this the most. A lot of us search so long and hard for it, that it can steer away from being the greatest gift to being the worst nightmare you can imagine. It seems to me that if you talk with a sex addict, they will mention at some point in the conversation not feeling loved or having a very hard time loving somebody.
It is inevitable that this point causes some of their actions (mine included).

I didn't feel loved for a good majority of my life. I knew I was loved but I didn't feel loved. Confusing? I thought so. Till I realized I didn't feel loved because I didn't think I was worthy of love. This feeling caused me to seek out love I could feel good about. This is where its gets more confusing. A majority of people not just sex addicts struggle with love quite a bit. We have our own versions of it; what it should be like, who it should be with, the way that person is supposed to act, the things we are supposed to be told by people who love us. If it doesn't match what are mind has we don't feel it. That person(s) may say "I love you" but it just isn't being felt.

Then we have the other side of the coin where we don't know how to love. It scares the heck out of us. In loving we are vulnerable, accountable, responsible, and tied to. Those are very very scary words to an addict. That is just NOT going to do. We want Burger King love; our way right away. This develops control issues, lies, and secrets. We will dictate who love us and what they know so they will love us the way we want. In doing so we can love them back under a veil of what we have set as the rules in a relationship. That is how we love.

In continuing with our dysfunctional life there are those to who just will not love anyone or be loved. Because they worry of the hurts they cause people or have just plain given up on feeling worthy of love. That leads to all the bad situations we as sex addicts place ourselves in as well.

So whether we don't feel loved, can't love, are searching for love, or feel we shouldn't be loved at all, we all can relate somehow to any part of this. My story touchs on every single aspect I have talked about at one point or another. Causing the major dysfunction I have lived in for years. But let me tell you guys something that should be a comfort to you: "God so loved the world he gave his only son" John 3:16 God knows how to love you, he wants to love you, he doesn't care who you think you are, what you have done, who you have been with, what gender you are, what financial status you have, or even what your social status is. He loves everyone from the President to the junkie! And he loves them both the same. It took me over 37 years to wrap my head around this, but now I want EVERYONE TO KNOW THE TRUTH! We are loved perfectly by only one being in the entire universe. The God who created every single molecule that formed a universe unmeasurable by any human instrument, knows who YOU are, where you live, what your room looks like and knows your heart better than you do. Than we all do. Search for his love, start loving him. HE accepts you for who you are and is so very in love with you.

Rejoice my fellow addicts we have found what we have needed. The only thing we will ever need till time is no more for us; GODS' LOVE. Cultivate that relationship. I can't begin to tell you how much my accepting Gods' love has done for me. I want the same for you. Accept the perfect love that is so clearly laid at your feet. Love is available to you, you are Gods child.