The rolling stone

Have you ever heard the phrase "a rolling stone gathers no moss"? Well in the world of addiction that really is not the case. It gathers moss till sometimes it is just this big, green, fuzzy ball knocking everything and everyone out of its way. Until it hits a wall or hits the bottom. I have run into both in my life.

The moss my disease has collected has been marital problems, marital loss, financial ruin, physical harm and or threat of harm, anger, anxiety, possibilities of legal ramifications such as prison. I was once questioned in front of my first wife by the Minneapolis Police for a rape that did not occur, but was a scorn of a person I did use while married to her. That person was her best friend and the more I denied the sex the rockier their freindship became. That person started sending hate emails and phone calls daily till we had to get a restraining order. The question my first wife asked was simply "did you guys have sex?" I just kept giving her a definite "no". She wanted to know so she could work it out with her friend. I only had to admit to it. She like a good wife stuck by her husband and took my word for it. That destroyed a friendship of over 12 years. Once denied on all fronts by the police and my wife and loosing that friendship, that person became out of control themselves and depressed. We came to find out through a family member that whole incident just absorbed that person and they started hearing voices and talking to people in the room that were not there about the incident in front of their family members. Last I heard a string of medications were being supplied to help keep them calm. I publicly denied an action of mine and that rolling stone started. I cant not take credit for the insuance of actions on their part, however had mine been different so could of the outcome I believe. Perhaps not but their is no changing history.

Who might you have affected adversely? You see it just takes one word or one secret to start something that eventually gets out of your control. I heard a saying once that said, "It only takes a second to make a mistake but can take years to correct". How true that is.

I need to make that amend through honesty now. I don't know where that person is and if they are even still alive. But I can prevent myself from lying and hopefully not start anything like that again. But to that person and my first wife I say, " Yes we did have sex and it was wrong of me to deny that. I am sorry that my actions during and after our sexual encounter led to such a chaotic situation. If you guys are still in contact I will pray that this answer comes to both of you and please forgive me for what I did to you both"